30 Jan, 17
Sex Tips & Tricks
Tips for Sexting!
Sexting is so much fun! I admit to doing it quite often with my partner. We’ve been together for almost four years, so our sexting style has grown and changed with us.
By Rebecca Dane from A Couple of Kinks
Whether you are in a long-term relationship like mine or if you’re about to sext someone for the first time – I have a few tips for you!
1. Test The Waters
Before you send out a very explicit message, you should maybe test the waters a little bit first. If you’ve never sent a text to this particular person, you need to make sure they are okay with receiving one. A good way to test the waters is to compliment them for something non-sexual. If you receive a positive reaction, then you might be in a good place to start slowly sexting. Saying things like “I can’t wait to see you later” aren’t sexual suggestions but are a good way to receive feedback to make sure you are on the same page.
2. Be A Tease
Once you start sexting, don’t put everything out there right away. Try to create some mystery so that the person on the receiving end will have something to look forward to. Of course, if you want to tell someone all the explicit details you can, but it can be kind of fun to tease them instead. Doesn’t matter if you’ve been together for a while or not, teasing is a great way to get them thinking about you all day.
3. Suggest Something You Want
If you’re looking for things to say, why not say something that you want to try with that person. It might not be the best way to unleash all of your kinks and desires, but you can start slowly will some subtle suggestions. If you really want to tie them up, then sexting can be a great way to assess their reaction. If YOU really want to be tied up, then you can always imply that in your sext too!
4. Say Something You’ve Already Done
If you’re stuck for things to say, then bring up moments that have already happened. If you loved the way they spanked you the other week, then bring that up. Sending them a sext about it will keep the conversation super hot while they reminisce about that session. It will also help hint to your partner that you want to do it again. A small note about this: keep it positive! Instead of saying “you never choke me anymore” say something like “I can’t wait to feel the pressure of your hands around my throat again”. Sexting is not the time for negativity.
5. Give Feedback
If you like what your partner is sexting you, then let them know! If they are saying something particularly hot – tell them that the convo is becoming intensely hot for you! Don’t just focus on sending sexts, you also need to be a great receiver too. If you’re in the middle of a sexy convo, don’t disappear all of a sudden. You wouldn’t want someone ghosting on you after you told them your fantasy, so don’t do that to someone else either.
6. Send Suggestive Photos
My partner and I are at a point in our relationship that anything goes. The other day I sent him a photo of my mid-masturbation. This doesn’t have to be what you send, don’t worry. If you want to start sending pictures, make sure you are comfortable with what you are sending. Suggestive photos can be incredibly hot. You can show your shoulder and neck lines with a bra strap! You can show the side of your panties! You can basically send whatever you want – but again, just remember to have their consent before sending photos.
7. Avoid What You’re Uncomfortable With
Don't do or say anything you don’t want to do or say! If you don’t want to send photos, then don’t. If you want to send photos but don’t want to put your face in them, then don’t. If you hate oral sex, then don’t sext about oral sex. Don’t say anything you wouldn’t necessarily want to do as it might cause some awkwardness when you say ‘no’ in person. You have EVERY right to say ‘no’ to ANYTHING you’ve sexted about. Just because you wrote it, doesn’t mean you have to do it. You don’t owe your partner anything. However, if you want to avoid any potential awkward moments, I’d suggest not to text about anything you don’t want to do.
8. You Can’t Make Someone Sext
If your partner isn’t really into the whole sexting thing, that is totally okay and you should respect their decisions. Maybe in the future they will change their mind, but for right now they have said ‘no’ or set limits and you need to respect them. On the other hand, your partner can never make you sext either. Say ‘no’, set your limits, and make sure they respect that.
9. Keep Them Safe!
Phones are now programmed to connect to wireless clouds and to connect to our computers over wifi and a whole bunch of other connection reasons that should have you considering what you do with your sexts. Thankfully, there are apps (like Photo Vault) designed to keep these things private. Keep your sexts in a safe place so no one else can find them!
10. Have fun!
If everyone is on board with sexting, then just totally go for it! It’s a super fun way to explore your desires and your partner’s desires. Sometimes it is easier to communicate them over text than in person so you get the benefit of knowing what someone truly wants!
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