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Slowing down the penis’ orgasm

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Slowing down the penis’ orgasm

The speed of an orgasm is a little bit like the size of the penis – irrelevant, but focused upon by society. If everyone involved is satisfied during a sexy session, then who cares about speed and size? But if you still think that you need to slow down your ejaculation, then we have some tips to help you! Please keep in mind that we are not saying you HAVE to slow it down - we are just saying that if you want to slow it down, these ideas might work for you.

By Rebecca Dane, A Couple of Kinks

Please note that this article is for anyone who owns a penis, regardless of gender or sexuality. As well, we do not claim to be doctors and this does not constitute as medical advice. If you’re having any issues, you should talk to a health care professional.

1. Change Your Definition of Sex

This could very well be a life-changing tip, so read closely. Media has made it so that our definition of ‘sex’ is penis-in-vagina, ending with an orgasm. That is to say, that we often think of ejaculation as the ‘goal’ of sex and then everything is over. This is not true in the slightest. There are many couples that don’t have penis-in-vagina sex. There are people who cannot orgasm at all and people who can orgasm more than once. ‘Sex’ is an all-encompassing word that includes oral play or other sensual stimulation. Your orgasm, or speed of orgasm, does not need to be the focus or goal. If you orgasm quickly (or even if you don’t) then make it PART of a session instead of the GOAL of the session. There are plenty of fun things you can do after an orgasm.

2. Orgasm Before

While it is possible for orgasms to occur repetitively, there is typically a recovery phase between them, which will often delay a second orgasm. This can be a great strategy to slow down an orgasm during intercourse. If you masturbate beforehand, either by yourself or with your partner, then chances are the second orgasm will be delayed. Your partner might enjoy making your orgasm prior to intercourse, or you can always aim for two orgasms during a sex session. There never needs to be a limit on orgasm – the more the better!

3. Thicker Barriers

If you aren’t using condoms, then you might consider using some to create a different sensation and decrease the sensitivity of the penis. If you are using condoms, then you might want to pick ‘regular’ instead of ‘thin’ styled one to decrease the sensitivity of the penis. There are condoms that contain numbing creams to delay orgasm. Using these is totally based on your preference. Some people find that they numb too intensely while some find that they don’t numb enough. If you do use numbing creams, then do your best to contain the cream inside the condom. It is not a fun product to get on a vulva or in your eye or anywhere else.

4. Use “Edging” Techniques

Edging is a term used to describe orgasm control. Essentially you bring someone to the ‘edge of orgasm’, don’t let them orgasm, and then do this on repeat until you finally let them orgasm. If you flip this definition around to be more productive for someone who is quick to orgasm, you can get a really sexy spin on two popular techniques that are used for premature ejaculation. Both techniques involve stopped/squeezing right before ejaculation to avoid ejaculation, and then starting again. Sounds a lot like edging!

Stopping and Starting: Once you feel like you are about to ejaculate, then stop the stimulation for about 30-60 seconds, gain control over your pleasure limits and then start again (typically about 4-5 times) before letting yourself ejaculate. This technique is actually used to ‘train’ yourself to identify the “point of no return”.

Squeezing: The squeeze technique is when you squeeze between the shaft and the glands for about 30 seconds right before orgasm. If you squeeze at the proper pressure, then this will likely stop your ejaculation. It is also possible that your erection will be temporarily affected, but only temporarily.

The techniques for premature ejaculation are supposed to be practiced over many months to gain control over orgasms. They are often be portrayed in a negative light – but they don’t have to be! Many people enjoy edging and these techniques are incredibly similar. Put a different wording on it, and you’ll have a different kind of night.
Change positions
5. Change Positions

Changing positions can be a great way to prolong a session and delay orgasm. Some positions are more enjoyable than others and will naturally bring your closer to ejaculation (personal preferences, of course). If you feel this happening, then change things up! You can also take this opportunity to focus on your partner’s pleasure with some manual or oral sex! Everyone wins!

6. Communicate!

Talk to your partner! There can be quite a lot of mental pressures revolving around orgasms. Maybe you’re incredibly anxious about it but your partner doesn’t really care. Maybe you’re working on it but your partner is stressing you out. There are a variety of scenarios in which a lack of communication could be detrimental. Talk to your partner about any issues and desires and together you can find something that works for both of you.

7. Medical Help

If you are really struggling with premature ejaculation and nothing has helped delay orgasm, then talk to your doctor. There are specialists that might be able to help, including urologists or sex therapists.

Always remember that there are other ways to provide pleasure and the goal should not always be orgasm. However, if you still want to delay your orgasm, then try some of these techniques to find the one that works for you!

Rebecca Dane
www.acoupleofkinks.com
@ACoupleOfKinks

For some extended foreplay, why not watch some Online TV 

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