13 Jan, 18
Sex Tips & Tricks
Sex in an airplane
Is joining the Mile High Club worth the effort?
By Emmeline Peaches
The holidays are done and getaways are being promoted ready for the next year’s adventures. You know what that means: More chances to join the mile high club!
What Is The Mile High Club?
Even though this club involves flying, there are no fancy jackets involved. Quite the opposite, actually.
The ‘Mile High Club’ (or MHC for short) is a slang phrase for individuals who have had sex on a plane while it’s up in the air.
Originally, the notion of the MHC was thought to be a bit of a joke between pilots and flight attendance, but it is now a well-known activity (at least in terms of word of mouth) that many people banter about before getting aboard their next flight.
Celebrity endorsement has a large part to play in this. The MHC is said to include Jennifer Aniston, Pamela Anderson, Chris Brown, Reese Witherspoon, Carmen Electra, and even Liam Neeson. That’s quite a sensational list, and it’s not even the tip of the celebrity iceberg when it comes to sex on a plane.
Why Join The Mile High Club?
But why would someone want to join the MHC?
According to its advocates, the MHC has a few benefits that regular, grounded sex just does not offer.
One of the most popular speculative benefits of the MHC is that planes themselves actually serve as giant, inhabitable sex toys. The claim is that planes, when operating in the air, create a certain vibrational sensation which feels great during points of arousal and climax.
Some people have also claimed that the altitude of the flight also transforms the body’s pleasure limit at the point of climax, making things more intense and memorable. Such people typically quote 5,280 feet as the bare minimum the plane must reach before you even attempt joining the illustrious MHC.
But, most likely, the appeal of the MHC is the very fact that, by having sex on a plane, you would be joining the MHC – thus creating a self-encouraging sort of club mentality. The fact that joining the club means that you’ve also had the same sexual experiences as some celebrities is definitely a factor in this appeal, as who doesn’t want to rub elbows with the stars every once in a while.
I mean if Gwynth Paltrow has tried it then it’s worth a try, right?
Except that Gwynth Paltrow gives some pretty questionable sex advice, and the MHC, in general, kind of sucks.
Let’s look in to why.
#1 It’s Unreasonably Expensive
If you truly want to join the MHC then it involves being strategic. This means getting a flight where you will have a realistic amount of time to pursue your goal.
For this you’ll need a flight that is long enough to allow for the post-take-off health & safety demo, the initial seat belts off, and the landing while still giving you ample moments to slip away to your destination of choice.
Realistically, you’ll also want to factor in the crew coming through to do safety checks, the snack trolley filtering through, and the breakfast/lunch/dinner schedule if there is one, in addition to things such as turbulence sending you back to your seats and other passengers using the toilets themselves (usually for more innocent activities).
Realistically, this means that you’re looking at a long flight, which typically means more money invested in the cost of flying.
Sure, there are some pretty cheap flights out there, but these are typically for short trips, or ones where turbulence is always guaranteed and the rest of the passengers are questionable at best.
Besides, we’d like to think that if you pay for a flight you also have a holiday planned, which is an initial investment, meaning that the financial expense of sex on a plane stacks up pretty swiftly.
#2 It’s a Rush
And, speaking of that time window, even at the best of times it’s slim.
Okay, you’ve picked a long flight, but there are multiple other individuals on that flight, all of whom will likely want to use the toilet at some point and all of whom who will likely report sexual activities taking up the toilet space when they’re holding in an excessive amount of fluids.
This means that sexual activity on a plane is almost always a rushed affair, even if you choose to try and stealth it under a blanket while still at your seats.
And, let’s face it, quickies have their place, but they rarely represent you at your sexual prime.
#3 It’s Incredibly Limiting
Lubricants, sex toys, whips, handcuffs, blindfold, porn, and even things like condoms and oral dams. All of these are components to a good sexual experience. For some people they may even be essential (safer sex barriers certainly should be).
But, here’s the thing – when you’re getting on a plane your fluid allowance for the carry-on luggage is restricted, the contents are scanned, and you can’t easily retrieve stuff from that luggage without others seeing.
This means that you’re incredibly limited when it comes to what you can bring for your MHC experience. Heck, even putting on a condom can be incredibly annoying in a confined environment. Add to the fact that you’re on a time limit and rushing so as not to get caught and you have a recipe for frustration rather than elation.
#4 It Could Land You In Jail
As early as 1999 people have been arrested for their exploits trying to join the MHC. In one 2006 case individuals Trevor Blake and Nicola Fitzpatrick even got a prison sentence and community service for having sex on a British Airways flight.
It’s debatable whether or not sex on a plane is inherently illegal, but a lot of flight companies have opted to prohibit the act and, should you get caught, you’ll likely be facing some repercussions.
At best, the pilot will have to land the plane and you’ll miss out on your holiday and will have to live with that disappointment while sat in a small confined space with people who greatly dislike you for wrecking their holiday too. Chances are you’ll probably be banner from that airline too.
In the worst instance you run a very real risk of a prison sentence for your activities.
Is cramped sex in a loo really worth that?
Which brings us to our final point…
#5 It’s just Unhygienic
Celebrities most likely joined their MHC on a private jet with a built-in bed, living it up in the lap of luxury.
The majority of passengers will not have that option. It’s either try to have sex while a bunch of coughing, sniffling strangers, crying babies, and snoring individuals surround you, or have sex in a cramped loo that has been used by most of the previously mentioned passengers.
To this we must ask – when has sex in a loo ever been the height of sexual glory? Sure, it’s a fun fantasy at times, but most of us don’t want the smells, infections and potential contact with a stranger’s urine that is likely when having sex in such a small space.
So, do yourself a favour and abandon the MHC reality for a MHC fantasy instead. Invest in a sexy pilot/air host/air hostess outfit and do a bit of sexual roleplay in the comfort of your own home.
If you really want you can still fuck in the toilet for authenticity, but at least you’ll know it’s clean and that the lube can always keep on flowing.
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