17 Jul, 18
Sex Tips & Tricks
Sex and Social Media
A guide to sexting, dick pics, and more.
By Emmeline Peaches
Unsolicited dick pics are about as far away as you can get from okay as will ever be the case. The same goes for unsolicited nudes too.
Putting this aside, though, there are many times in our sexual adventures or relationships where we will be feeling amorous, glamorous, and ready to show our sexy selves to consenting individuals.
In such cases, social media is usually involved.
Social media is such a ubiquitous part of our daily lives nowadays that it almost feels like an insult to even explain its pervasiveness to people.
There’s a high likelihood, for example, that you have clicked through to this article from your Twitter (or similar) and, if you like this post, you’ll probably be hitting some sort of social media sharing button to let others know about this articles existence (please do, by the way; we always appreciate the extra love).
Yet there is still a certain amount of uncertainty or perhaps even naiveté when it comes to how to navigate one’s sexual self or ‘selfies’ in the social media landscape.
Is it safe to send nudes? When is or isn’t it appropriate? How does one ‘sext’ without seeming like a complete digital dork?
These are questions we’ve been confronted with time and time again and so, today, we thought we’d provide a little summary of some of the best practices to stay safe while being sexy on social media.
How To Sext
Okay, so you’re talking to someone on your phone or laptop, you’re pretty certain that you dig them and you want things to start getting a little NSFW in the conversation (if you catch our drift), but what is the best way to initiate this?
You’ll be grateful to hear that, since we’re all so used to talking online nowadays, most sexting comes pretty natural and the lead-in is often just as intuitive. In fact, some studies have reported that up to 1 in 5 people in the Western world have sexted someone at some point in their lives (with many doing so regularly).
Still, if you’re looking for a way to get the sexting ball going there are a few old reliables which are easily understood as an opener to sexting and, thus, will likely let your intent be known.
The most common of these is ‘Do you know what I’d like to do to you if I were there right now?’
This is a good opener because it’s clear, has an element of intrigue, and also allows the recipient to give pretty obvious consent or refusal should they wish too.
Equally one could simply jump right in by describing a ‘tame’ but still clearly physical and sexual activity. An example of this might be ‘If I were with you right now I’d be kissing you so fiercely that you’d be gasping for breath in between each pleasured pressing of our lips together’ or ‘I wish I could get on my knees right now and unzip those work trousers for you’.
Again, you’ll know pretty soon if the person you’re talking to is receptive to sexting from there.
As a bit of advice, though, we recommend the latter approach only if you have a pre-existing background of sexting with the person or if they have shown that they are clearly keen for sexting, otherwise things can get pretty awkward pretty fast.
But, hey, at least you can just click off the convo if it all gets too embarrassing for you.
What most people want to know before sending nudes online is ‘are my photos safe’? To which we have to say ‘No. Not entirely’ but you probably knew that already.
It is a fundamental aspect of life that if you choose to make a physical (or digital) documentation of yourself and put it out in to the world then there is always a risk that it will spread beyond your intended audience. One only needs look at the case of Justine Sacco who, upon sending a single offensive tweet prior to a flight to Cape Town found that she had become an unemployed, vilified media sensation by the time she had landed.
Nudes aren’t likely to ruin your entire life, but they can jeopardize your career to lead to some awkward family conversations if they fall in to the wrong hands or slip from a private convo in to the public eye. Sadly, revenge porn is still a thing and is even more prolific in the social media age.
But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t send nudes to willing participants if you want to.
Nudes are fun. They’re a playful way to take sexting to the next level and they can feel like an empowering form of self-expression and power play in a digital dating scenario. The key to successful nudes, then, is making sure your identity isn’t at risk while being risqué.
Firstly, make sure that if you take a nude shot you don’t include your face. It’s fine to send selfies and sweet photos of your face in separate messages but never allow your face to be clearly attributed to your body where naked images are concerned.
Secondly, be sure that you obscure any clear or obvious identifiers that would allow people to know it’s definitely you. Necklaces with names, tattoos, or signature outfits might be the best examples for this.
Before we had Instagram, Snapchat, etc. these were usually blurred out but now you have the fun of filters and stamps/stickers, so use these as a way to be playful about hiding identifying body or clothing markers where appropriate.
Finally, always make sure that the person you’re sending nudes to is alone and receptive prior to sending them. There’s nothing worst for either party if suddenly a naked photo of your body pops up on their phone during a work engagement, a coffee with friends, or (worst case scenario) when they’re around minors. Speaking of which, always check the age of the person you’re sending content too as well.
Safety before all.
Digital communication opens up a whole world of sexual exploration and play that is not experienced in the same way through any other media form, but this also means that it comes with its own unique considerations.
Practice the safety tips we’ve laid out in this article and soon you’ll be sexting and sending saucy shots like a pro.
Oh, and just block the people who send you unsolicited dick pics. They’re not worth your time.
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