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Making your own sex tape: Do's and Don'ts

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Making your own sex tape: Do's and Don'ts

Decided to make a sex tape? Read the do's and don'ts and have fun!

By Rebecca Dane, A Couple of Kinks

So you’ve decided to make a sex tape! Congrats! Homemade sex videos can be a lot of fun to make and then to watch! Of course, if you’re planning on recording yourself have sex on camera there are certain things to consider. Let us help you out!


Do: Really Think About It

Think about why you want to make a homemade video. We personally find that they are super fun to film and then super sexy to watch together at a later time. The videos capture an intimate moment that can be replayed. You need to think about if you’re making a video for your own consumption or if you’re filming it to publicly put it online. You need to think about if you’re going to film by yourself or if you’re going to ask a partner to join you (or more than one partner).  You need to consider all of the positives and negatives of making a sex tape, including any possibility of other people watching it. 


Don’t: Be Coerced/ Don't: Coerce

Never ever pressure someone into doing something they do not want to do. Don’t give an ultimatum, don’t nag them every day about, don’t guilt them about it. Just don’t pressure someone into making a sex tape. You can bring up the topic and have a discussion about it, but if the other person isn’t interested, the conversation ends there. Similarly, don’t let yourself be coerced into filming something. If a partner is making you feel badly for saying ‘no’ then maybe you need to find a different partner. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do.   


Do: Make It With Someone You Trust

There are two reasons that you should do it with someone you absolutely trust. The first is that you are becoming intimate with someone on film. You should feel like your partner has your interests in mind and will help to make you feel comfortable. The second reason is that one of you will have the recording of your session. You need to trust that the person won’t send it to their friends or upload it to a site. The moment there is a digital file, there is a risk that other people will see it. You need to fully trust that this person will respect your wishes about who gets to see the video.


Don’t: Assume It’s Private If You’re Making it Public

There are certain sites that allow amateur video uploads, whether for free or for profit. If you are considering putting your video online, you need to assume that literally everyone you know will see it. Nothing really ever leaves the internet, so once it is uploaded, it can always be found. This doesn’t mean everyone you know will immediately see it – but you have to assume that eventually people will find out. This includes work. Don’t totally freak out though – if you never put it on the Internet and you hold on to the only copy, then there isn’t a way for other people to see it. 


Do: Discuss Every Detail

You and your partner(s) need to discuss absolutely everything. You need to discuss the logistics of actually filming the video (when, where, how). You also need to discuss boundaries and consent. You need to figure out what sexual acts that you are performing on camera. Just because you do a certain act regularly doesn’t mean you want it filmed. For example, if you enjoy anal sex and do it often, it doesn’t mean that you want to have anal sex on camera. You need to discuss all of your boundaries in relation to filming. You also need to discuss what you’re doing with the video afterwards. Are you watching it once and deleting it? Are you sharing it publicly? Are you keeping it safe? Are you each getting a copy? These all need to be discussed before the filming begins.


Don't: Take Yourself Too Seriously

Making a sex tape does have a lot of preparation involved but you need to remember that you’re doing something for fun! You’re doing all the preparation so that you can be at ease once the camera starts rolling. Remember to enjoy yourself and not worry too much about what pieces of flesh the camera is recording. It will be much more fun to watch the replay if you look like you’re genuinely enjoying yourself instead of stressing out. If you are genuinely stressing out – you can always stop filming!


Do: Try It

We personally think that everyone should try filming themselves at least once! If you have a partner you trust, it can be a fun way to spice up the week. If you don’t have a partner you trust, then try filming yourself! Masturbation is the ultimate form of self-care, so why not film it for your own enjoyment? If you’re not considering it right now, you can always come back to this topic at a later date. It’s totally up to you!


If you do decide to film sex – either solo or partnered – you should look up a few more articles about tips and tricks to set up the scene. Then come back and tell us if you loved it! We definitely do!


Rebecca Dane




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