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Long-Distance Sexy Time

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Long-Distance Sexy Time

Some ways to keep it steamy while you are miles apart!

By Rebecca Dane

Long-distance relationships can be tough emotionally and sexually! Last week, we wrote about some of the ways to keep in contact emotionally… but don’t think we forgot about all the sex stuff!

Below are some ways to keep it steamy while you are miles apart.

1. Skype is your friend

Skype is your friend regardless of what you’re planning on doing once the video camera turns on. Of course, this can be used to have conversations… but let’s be honest… it can also be used to mutually masturbate. It doesn’t matter what platform you use, it doesn’t need to be Skype – it can be any secure platform. Definitely schedule time to chat, but it can also be fun to spend some time pleasuring yourselves together. You can take turns, or you can do it at the same time. You can focus on your faces or any other part of your body that is comfortable for you to share. Of course, like everything else, the moment it is on a computer it can be copied and saved. Only Skype with people who you trust, and make sure to lay out the rules beforehand. Are they allowed to record it? Keep a copy? Don’t just dive right in – set some boundaries first.

2. Send Sexts

Sexts throughout the day can be so much fun! If you live in the same city, then you are probably okay with just sticking to words, but when you’re farther apart, it can be fun to send some sexy pics. This doesn’t mean you have to send naked pics – everyone’s definition of ‘sexy’ is different. Unless you are absolutely certain that your partner is alone – don’t send a pic without warning. If they are close to someone, the last thing you want is that notification to pop up with an image preview. One way to avoid this is by using applications like Snapchat to send pictures. Time zones can make it difficult to avoid work hours, so make sure you send them discreetly or with warning. When you receive a sext, make sure you save it in a safe place (if your partner has given you permission to save them). Apps like Photo Vault keep these pics locked up behind a passcode.

3. App-controlled Sex Toys

If you want to take your Skype sessions to the next level, then you can purchase a vibrator that works remotely. There are several products on the market that connect to Apps via Bluetooth, which means that your partner can control the settings from anywhere in the world. These products can make you an active participant in your partner’s pleasure (or vice-versa), which can be a really fun way to close the distance between you. Companies that produce App-controlled toys include We-Vibe, Lovesense, and Vibease.

4. Discuss Monogamy

Just because you are in a long-distance relationship, doesn’t mean it has to be a monogamous one. There are many people that have non-monogamous relationships! If you are someone who might be interested in exploring that dynamic, then bring it up (respectfully) with your partner. Non-monogamy is not for everyone, but many long-distance tips seem to leave this option out, so we wanted to include it! If you’re thinking about it – make sure to read up on it before discussing it with your partner. There are different dynamics to long-distance relationships due to lack of physical presence, so it might be a bit harder to navigate a non-monogamous relationship. Look up stories from people who have done it and don’t be afraid to ask for advice.

5. Sexy Email Accounts

Sending long sexy emails is like the pen-pal love letter of today. Taking the time to write something heartfelt, meaningful, or downright-dirty can be an extra way to maintain the sexual chemistry. Create new email accounts for both of you so they don’t get mixed in with work emails. Treat it as a special thing (like opening up snail mail), and it will feel totally different from texting. If you’re worried about posting things on the internet, then create fake names, and maybe even fake personas if you’re into that type of thing.

6. Genital Replicas

Did you know that there are kits that can replicate your genitals? Well – there are! There are penis cloning kits and vulva cloning kits. The kits create a replica of your genitalia in body-safe silicone so you can use it how you please. The kits are a little tricky to use and a bit tough to make a perfect replica, so be prepared to properly read the instructions. Exchanging actual models of your genitals is so damn cool. Like… you can masturbate with a dildo that is shaped like your partner’s penis.

7. Watch Porn Together

Just like you can read the same book or watch the same movie in order to have conversation about topics that connect you… you can watch the same porn! Choose to watch it separately or watch it together while you’re on Skype. It can be a fun way to mix things up and learn even more about what your partner likes. You can even take turns choosing the porn to watch.


Just because you’re in a long-distance relationship doesn’t mean you can’t have any fun! Any other tips? Let us know! We’re interested to learn how you sexpress yourself!



Rebecca Dane
A Couple of Kinks



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