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How to work sex into a busy schedule

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How to work sex into a busy schedule

When our lives start to get busy, it can be really tough to find time to spend with your partner, let alone have sex with your partner.

By Rebecca Dane, from A Couple of Kinks

Whether you are busy due to work, family reasons or other obligations, intimacy can get left behind. Sex is so important for an intimate relationship, no matter what your definition of ‘sex’ might be. Here are some ways to make sure you are able to work sex into your busy schedule. 

1. Actually Schedule It

It might sound lame at the moment, but sometimes you just have to schedule time for sex. Of course spontaneous, wild sex can be super fun, but it isn’t always possible. Sometimes you really have to look at each other’s calendars and pick the next date and time. Don’t just plan for “next Tuesday”, make sure you plan a time during the day that works the best for both of you.

2. Actually Write It Down

Once you’ve decided to start scheduling your sexy time, make sure to actually write it down. It can be tempting to skip this crucial step, but don’t! It is essential that you block off a certain amount of time for this. If you don’t write it down, then you can easily book something else by accident. You don’t have to label it ‘sex’ in your agenda, but do block off the time.

3. Set A Reminder

Yup, you read that correctly. If you’re going through the motions of scheduling your sex and writing it down… add this simple other one! Set a reminder a few hours before your sexy time so that you remember to wrap up your work stuff or finish your chores faster. Setting a reminder will help you actually keep to your sex schedule. Bonus if you send your partner a sexy message when the reminder buzzes.

4. Don’t Hit Snooze

If you’re somewhat of a morning person, then this might work for you. If you have a tendency to hit your ‘snooze’ button in the morning, then change your routine. Instead of trying to catch a few more minutes of sleep, try having sex instead! You’ll be much more inclined to wake up the first time your alarm goes off, and you’ll have a great start to the day! If you don’t tend to hit snooze, then try setting your alarm about 20 minutes earlier than usual.

5. Forget The Chores

Sometimes chores can wait. Sometimes chores can be skipped altogether for a week. Does your bathroom really need to be cleaned that often if you’re sacrificing your sex life for it? Decide what can be postponed and turn that newfound time into a moment with your partner.

6. Make It Exciting

Sometimes you just need a little bit of excitement to start making sex a priority again. If you have a routine, then it can be easy to replace sex with another item on your list. Instead, make sure you’re both looking forward to your limited timed together. Make a list with your partner with all the things you want to experiment with. Then, one by one, discover them together! It’ll help get rid of your routine and rekindle your intimacy – even if you just spend 20 minutes laughing at a failed experiment together.

7. Start Small

A back rub can remain a back rub or it can turn into something else. If you start with a small sensual action, then it can lead to a more intimate action. Even if it doesn’t, just the act of physically caressing each other can be good for the soul and your relationship. Try to remove the pressure and just enjoy the moments you have together.

8. Don’t Stress!

Take the pressure off of having sex. Don’t compare yourself to other couples. Don’t stress about meeting a required number of sex sessions per month. Stressing about sex can be counterintuitive and can make us want it even less. If you schedule a chunk of time but end up not being in the mood, then do something else, but do it as a couple. Cuddle each other for that block of time or take a nap wrapped in each other’s arms. Just because the frequency is low right now doesn’t mean it will stay that way. Remember that it is okay to go through periods of time without sex – we’re only human!

Do you have any tips on how to fit sex into your busy schedule? Let us know!

Rebecca Dane



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