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How to make wearing a condom feel sexy

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How to make wearing a condom feel sexy

Our experience with the little colorful friend.

By Rebecca Dane.

Over a year ago, I stopped using hormonal birth control. The method I was using wasn’t working for me because the side effects were taking over my life. As a couple, we decided to go hormone-free and start using condoms.

I resisted for a really long time. I used to hate condoms. Like really, really hate them. It was almost as if my vagina KNEW there was a condom and would purposely dry up and become irritated. My doctor had already ruled out a latex allergy, so it wasn’t necessarily the material.

Andy didn’t mind condoms so much, and it was really just me who wished there was a better method for birth control. I hated it so much, that I restarted a hormonal method, only to remember that it was worse for my mental health.

I finally had to accept that condoms were our future.

I had to find a way to embrace condoms and make them sexy, or else, I was just never going to have PIV (penis in vagina) sex.


The perfect condom

The first thing we did was find the right condom for us. I read a bunch of condom articles online from other sex bloggers, I asked my friends what kinds of condoms they enjoyed, and we purchased an assortment of condoms. The assortment included latex condoms and non-latex condoms. It also included “female” or “internal” condoms (which I love but they are too expensive for us to use on a consistent basis).

We realized that non-latex condoms felt better for us. The material irritated me less, and honestly, there was less smell. We hadn’t realized how much the latex smell was affecting our sex life before we tried something different. (We’re fluid bonded, so protection for us is only about birth control). I was finally able to give Andy a blowjob after he had worn a condom! There wasn’t that condom smell that had turned me off so many times!! We also realized that condoms with textures don’t work for us, and we found a condom that fit Andy the best.

Once we had established our preferred condom, the rest kind of fell in line. We purchase them in bulk so we never feel too badly using more than one in a session when needed (condoms can be so expensive!). We can use one, and then alternate to another sex act, and then open up another one without feeling like we’re throwing away money. If we ever use one for too long and add lube and it still doesn’t feel quite right, then we just open another one. Having a large supply that we bought at a discounted price significantly helped us get used to using condoms.

Because we found a condom that we both like, we’re both okay with using it. Andy doesn’t mind putting it on, and my vagina doesn’t mind its presence. It’s no longer a task that has to be done; it has just become part of our sex routine.

Actually, it has changed the way we have sex. We used to be able to penetrate whenever and wherever we wanted, and now we have to think about it and take the time to put on a condom. This can be frustrating some times when we’re feeling impatient… BUT it can also be a blessing in disguise.

One of the fun parts about requiring a condom is the build up to putting one on. What else can you do before you put on the condom? Are you going to tease each other? Are you going to do other sex acts? Are you going to rush into putting on a condom or are you going to take it nice and slow?


The takeaway

Embracing the condom has added another dimension to our sex life because it is a reminder that we don’t need to rush into penetrative sex. We can do other things first… other really, really fun things.

It also allows us to have fun moments throughout the week where we remind the other person to pack a condom in case we have an adventure away from our house. Most of my purses have two or three condoms in them… just in case. If anything, it’s easier to have full adventures because there’s no need to worry about where cum will land and no need to worry about cleanup. (As a recommendation, never just bring one condom with you. You never know what might happen to that one – what if you drop it? Always be prepared with a backup).

I am also significantly happier without my hormonal birth control, which helps keep things sexy. Although I still wish there was another option as effective and hormone-free as condoms, I have learned that condoms really can be sexy. The first step is to embrace them and the second step is to find one that works for you. The rest is just fun.



Rebecca Dane
A Couple of Kinks


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