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How To Introduce Porn Into Your Relationship

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How To Introduce Porn Into Your Relationship

8 steps to introduce porn into your relationship

By Rebecca Dane from A Couple of Kinks

We think that porn is pretty fun to watch! We think it is SO fun that we kind of made it our business! We love sharing our videos with you, so we thought we would give you some tips to share them with other people – specifically your partner.

1. Make Sure They’re Okay With Porn

We have to include this one because there are some people that aren’t actually okay with talking about porn or watching porn. People have all sorts of reasons for not giving porn a chance, so before you bring up the topic of watching it together, you should probably have a conversation about porn in general just to get an idea of what your partner thinks. You can ask how they feel about porn videos or if they’ve ever watched any or if they’ve ever masturbated while watching a video. Start off gentle and modify your questions from there. If your partner doesn’t think porn is for them – that is okay! If your partner thinks that all porn is evil, then maybe you can revisit the conversation with some articles about ethical porn. You’ll have to assess your next steps based on their reaction.

2. Keep It Casual

If you discover that your partner is okay with the idea of watching a porn video, then eventually you can ask if they want to watch one with you. Try not to make an ordeal out of the question. A simple: “Would you like to watch porn with me sometime” should be just fine. If you make a big deal out of it, then people will often react by making it a big deal. Like most topics, keep calm and ask gently.

3. Watching or Sexing

Decide if you’re going to watch porn together as voyeurs or if you’re going to watch porn together to get your sex session started. For the first time, you might want to just get comfortable watching it together without any pressure to perform. Set boundaries beforehand so that you know what to expect. If you’re just watching it, then make sure to talk about it during and after so that you can feel more comfortable doing it again. If you’re using it as a starting point for your night, then make sure the laptop is somewhere safe so it doesn’t get kicked over in the middle of a position change.

4. Let Them Pick

Let your partner pick the video! They might have a favourite they want to share with you, or they might browse the Internet to find a new video for the occasion. If you brought up the topic of watching porn together, then let them pick which porn you are going to watch.  Of course, if anything makes you uncomfortable you need to tell them beforehand so they can pick appropriately. If you really hate blowjob scenes, then it is a good bit of information to pass on. If you feel really self-conscious about watching certain body types/role-playing stereotypes then you should mention that too.

5. Consider Them

Alternatively, if they really want you to pick the video then you really need to consider your partner in the decision. If they hate spanking, then maybe you don’t pick a spanking video. If you would want your partner to consider your preferences, then you need to consider their preferences. If you aren’t sure, then you should probably start with something that isn’t very niche. You can definitely work up to hardcore scenes, but you should probably watch a few less-specific scenes together first.

6. Beware of Jealousy

Porn can bring up some pretty strong jealous emotions, whether you are expecting it to or not. You’re showing your partner videos that you watch while pleasuring yourself. This is a great step towards better communication and intimacy. However, if you are not in a good place in your relationship it might be a bad idea to start watching porn. If your partner is jealous about someone in your life (example: secretary), then maybe don’t pick the porn based on a secretary. Porn can be very intimate and you need to be aware that the first video you share with someone will probably be analyzed. This isn’t to scare you away from sharing your desires; it is just to remind you that you need to be considerate of your partner. You can build up to these other desires, but don’t hurt your partner in the process.

7. Make It About Your Partner

Make this all about your partner. You can watch porn by yourself another time. Focus on what your partner wants. Do they want it to be an intimate session? Do they want to laugh at it? Do they want to imitate what is happening on screen? Make sure that you are both comfortable and that your partner feels safe about watching these videos with you.

8. Communicate After

Always talk about it after! Was it a good experience? Was there something they would have preferred? Did something about that particular video make them uncomfortable but they are willing to try again with another one? Regardless if you end up fully clothed or wearing nothing at all, you absolutely need to have a conversation about your porn-watching session.

Let us know if you decided to take the leap and share some DUSK TV videos with your partner! We’d love to hear how it went! Happy sharing!

Rebecca Dane 
www.acoupleofkinks.com
@ACoupleOfKinks

Photo: Huffington Post

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