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Cracking Your Own Whip: BDSM For a Solo Session

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Cracking Your Own Whip: BDSM For a Solo Session

A lot of BDSM practitioners first discovered their sexual preferences like many of us too — through masturbation, self-exploration, and the whims of a curious and wandering mind.

By Emmeline Peaches

BDSM has prevalently been depicted as something that couples do in the confines of their bedroom, or a group activity embarked upon in a crowded dungeon scene with multiple adoring slaves and a single, commanding dominant.

This is the mainstream idea of BDSM and, therefore, the one we’re most exposed to. However, in reality a lot of BDSM practitioners first discovered their sexual preferences like many of us too—through masturbation, self-exploration, and the whims of a curious and wandering mind.

Why Go Solo?

Given the modern depiction of kink, such endeavours might seem fruitless to someone who is inexperienced with solo play but allow me to reassure you that such sessions can actually be some of the most rewarding and formative ones available.

When having a solo BDSM session the risk of infection (and especially sexually transmitted infections) is drastically decreased and negotiations of different preferences and consent obviously take a back burner. It’s all about your desires, your limits, and what works for you.

Some may call it selfish, I call it necessary. How can we ever experience pleasure if we don’t allow ourselves to get entirely lost in our own desires, if only for a while? Short answer, we can’t, and we certainly shouldn’t place ourselves in a situation where our pleasure is entirely co-dependent on someone else.

Of course this applies to all pleasure and not just BDSM practices, but with BDSM there are additional elements of play and discovery that are very specific, intimate, and worth addressing with a certain degree of caution. So, what are the best things to safely do for a solo BDSM session? Let’s get right in to it!

Self-Bondage

Perhaps the most obvious way to explore BDSM alone is through self-bondage—tying yourself up or using handcuffs, scarfs, or belts to restrict your motion.

 

Put yourself at your own mercy as you reach out and grab for the next object of consideration.

 

In any situation where knots and bindings are involved it is incredibly important to do your research first, never practice on areas that come with a high risk of cutting off circulation or try your hand at complicated knots that tend to require supervision. Always keep safety scissors close and a form of communication.

One of the best things about self-bondage is that you can really sit there in the silence and explore the sensations involved. Struggle and squirm all you want without feeling hindered or the need to meet your dominant’s needs. There’s no performative element here—just your mind and your body bound together. Go slow at times, really feel how your fabric of choice rubs and hugs against the skin. Lose yourself and then come back in your own time.

If you’re worried at all about drifting off in to subspace and time escaping then set an alarm. The important thing is to do what works best for you: To do you.

You deserve it!

Sensation Play

Buy yourself an ice lolly maker or an ice cube tray. Perhaps some specially designed soy wax candles, or a metal or glass toy. Anything that involves heating and cooling sensations. Then gather your arsenal of polarising products and begin to explore the difference in temperature—how they feel against the skin, the variation in texture, etc.

When it comes to sex toys take the time to explore how they feel inside of you. Perhaps find out what sensations you like and which ones you find too intense and then push against your limits. Test yourself against the more intense sensations and see what happens when you dwell in them. Expand your horizons.

Equally you could get yourself some silken fabric, feather ticklers, and even some massage oil (or a pinwheel if you’re feeling extreme), place them out in front of yourself and then blindfold yourself before beginning to explore what’s in front of you. Put yourself at your own mercy as you reach out and grab for the next object of consideration.

No matter how tempting it is to take the blindfold off and go further with more control, practice some mental self-restraint as your force yourself to take your time and really delve deep in to each and every object. You are accountable for your own pleasure, and for your own teasing deprivation. Take advantage of that to the fullest and see just how much you can endure.

bdsm masturbating

Sadomaso(lo)chism

You don’t need another person to take up a flogger or a paddle—just a little bit of practice and a desire to hurt yourself for pleasure.

Equally good are things such as nipple or clit clamps, urethral sounding kits, ball stretchers, electrastim kits, and even your own hands which can be used to pinch, scratch, or squeeze certain parts of your body.

It’s certainly not difficult to delve in to pain in a solo session, and sometimes even the tamest of nipple pinches can totally transform your self-loving time.

Granted, you do know your own limits a lot more, and your body may naturally fight against letting you hurt yourself as much as you’d like (or perhaps anticipate and, as a result, dull the pain of any action) but then part of the fun becomes figuring out how to navigate such obstacles.

 

Setting Up (or Becoming) An Audio Dom

This could be your actual Dominant or, in a bit of a selfcest twist, it could be an audio recording of your own voice but, essentially this involves pre-recording a set of demands or actions and then playing these back during a solo session.

Depending on what you want you could have multiple different recordings for different scenarios. Some could be commanding, some forgiving, and others completely neutral—almost monotone and distant. 

Then, whenever you’re fancying some alone-time, simply turn on the tape and allow your actions to be dictated for you.

And that’s all for now!

We hope you’ve enjoyed this article and that you’re feeling ready and raring to figure out what BDSM actions (if any) work with your body on your terms.

In all of these actions there is a strong balance that needs to be achieved between deep attentiveness and extreme relaxation. It’s once you strike that balance that you can really begin to figure out just where your mind and body want to go.

 

By Emmeline Peaches
emmelinepeachesreviews.com
@EmmelinePeaches

For more practical sex tips have a look at our How To... videos.

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