30 Aug, 18
Sex Tips & Tricks
6 reasons to talk about sex
Why we should all talk about sex.
By Rebecca Dane
I have always loved talking about sex. It’s just one of those things that I felt needed to be out in the open. My male friends were all able to openly talk about it, so I said “screw it” and started talking about it too. I wanted to do my part in normalizing the female experience of sexual encounters.
I love how talking about sex breaks down so many barriers to a topic that we should all be talking about. Why is sex so taboo anyway? It’s on most people’s minds all the time so why aren’t we talking about it?
Here are the reasons I think we should all be talking about sex.
#1 It Helps Break Down Sexism
You know the double standard about women being sluts and men being studs? Talking about it can help break down this double standard. If we’re always hush-hush about it, then the people who do talk about it are labelled as promiscuous. If everyone’s talking about it, then it helps normalize the topic and breaks down the gender stereotypes that we have unfortunately grown up with. Women can (and deserve to) feel good having sex and also talking about it.
#2 Helps People Realize They Are “Normal”
If no one talks about it, how do you know what is “normal”? It can be a really scary topic to approach if you’re not sure what you’re going through is what everyone else is going through – which is why it is good to talk about these things. It allows people to breathe a bit better once they realize everything is okay.
For example, a new study came out saying that people have sex way less than people think others actually have sex. The participants of the study guessed that other people were having sex 14 times in one month. The reality? The average is 4 times a month in the United States and 5 times a month in the United Kingdom. If no one talks about it – you might be comparing yourself to an incorrect and inflated standard.
#3 It Helps People Figure Out if Something Is Wrong
On the other end, it also helps people figure out if there is something wrong. For example, if something constantly hurts or feels uncomfortable – it can feel like that’s just the way it is supposed to be. However, if you talk about it and realize that it shouldn’t be hurting or uncomfortable, then you know there is a problem that needs fixing. The solution could be as simple as adding lubricant or it could necessitate a doctor’s appointment. Talking about sex can have some actual physical benefits.
Side note: If you’re into a fetish that no one else seems to be into, that doesn’t mean you’re not “normal,” it just means those particular people aren’t into it. That’s part of the brilliance of the internet – you can find an online community to discuss your fetish with.
#4 Helps Undo Terrible Sex Education
Many school systems do not have the greatest reputation for having the best sex ed courses. In fact, so many schools continue to teach incorrect information or provide an abstinence-only approach to sex. Never mind inadequate information on female please, sex toys, and sex between people of all sexualities and genders.
Talking about sex and taking away any stigmas associated with it, can really help tear away at the terrible sex ed information that so many of us received.
#5 You Might Learn a New Trick or Two
Ever gossiped with a best friend about blowjob techniques? It’s pretty much the best way to improve your blowjob game. Don’t worry, this can extend to any topic – not just blowjobs. Talking about sex can help you learn a new thing about sex. Maybe it’s a new position or maybe it’s a new type of lube, but whatever it is could add an extra oomph to your sex life. Similarly, you can share tips among friends to help them get the most pleasure out of sex.
#6 It Will Bring You Closer
Friends bond over personal experiences and there aren’t too many topics that are more personal than the topic of sex. Not only does talking about sex help break down all the barriers mentioned above, it will also help you form new bonds with people or stronger bonds with friends. Nothing like some good giggles and sex tips to bring you closer.
We have a little challenge for you! If you’re comfortable with it, next time you’re hanging out with one of your BFFs, bring up the topic of sex! Showing your friend that you’re open to talking about it can be the start of building that trust to talk about it together. Don’t reveal anything too personal about your partner, but start off by talking about sex in general. Maybe even talk about the study mentioned in this article and go from there. Are you up for the challenge or do you already talk about sex non-stop? Let us know!
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