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Sex With Your Coworker: The Dos and Don'ts

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Sex With Your Coworker: The Dos and Don'ts

Here are some things you should know to do or things to avoid.

By Rebecca Dane from A Couple of Kinks

Sometimes chemistry just happens at work. You can try all you might to ignore it but sometimes someone just grabs your attention. It makes sense because you’re spending all of your time together and – let’s face it – obviously your interests are similar because you’re working at the same place. Sometimes it just makes sense that two coworkers would get together, but if this is the case – there are some things you should know to do or things to avoid.

1. Do be as discreet as possible.
You can’t be flaunting your relationship - no matter how serious or frivolous - in front of your coworkers. You need to be conscious that any PDA might make other co-workers feel very uncomfortable. Keep it strictly professional while at work. It might be tough but it is the only way to keep everything and everyone at work feeling normal and professional.

2. Do not sleep with your boss.
Just don’t do it. It complicates way too much at work with the HR department looking into preferential treatment. You don’t want to be sitting in a personal evaluation with someone you’re in a relationship with. Date or sleep someone at the same level. Bosses and power dynamics can complicate everything.

3. Do try to sleep with someone in a separate department or floor or unit.
It will be easier to separate work and play and it won’t be able to get in the way of any team projects or evaluations or possible promotions. You definitely don’t want to be fighting for the same promotions – someone is bound to get offended.

4. Do not sleep together at work.
You might think you’re getting away with it but just wait until someone walks into the wrong room at the wrong time, or finds a condom or unzipped fly. Don’t sleep together at the office Christmas party. Don’t sleep together in a janitor’s closet. Just don’t do it.

5. Do talk about what your relationships entails.
You need to always be on the same page so that it cannot get in the way of your work.  If one of you is just having fun and the other one is ready to settle down, then that might make a messy blowout at work. Keep the communication open and make sure you want the same things from your relationship. If one of you starts getting deeper feelings, you need to talk about that too.

6. Do not show any signs of preferential treatment towards the person you are sleeping with.
This can backfire in so many ways and you just don’t want to deal with this. If this is a problem, you need to communicate with your partner about it. Your partner might feel less important to you, but it is essential in the workplace to keep everything leveled.

7. Do read up on company policies about relationships between coworkers.
While they might no longer be forbidden, you might have to sign documents with HR disclosing your relationship. It is important to tell your boss if this develops into anything a little more serious. Tell your boss first before telling your coworkers. It might be awkward but it needs to be done.

8. Do have a plan for if things go badly.
You need to decide how you will treat each other and how you will deal with any complications if things go south. It sucks to think about if something is going to end but it is important to consider all of the possible outcomes. When work is involved, it becomes complicated and you need to be prepared.


Work flings can be a lot of fun but they don’t come without some consequences if you aren’t careful. Be safe, be smart and have some fun!


Rebecca Dane 

Photo: Getty/Westend61

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